Effen Vodka

I don't like vodka - at all. I never drink it, except when it is heavily veiled in a chocolate or lychee martini. But I do love good branding.

Effen Vodka is good branding. Imported from Holland, the name "Effen" is actually Dutch slang for "smooth." It is distilled, designed, and marketed specifically for the club scene - the original 120 year-old recipe was given to a panel of bartenders to refine into a blend that young people would find most appealing and the bottle has a rubber non-slip sleeve around it for when the bartender's hands are wet, which also acts as an insulator, keeping the bottle colder longer.

And let's face it, the name is brilliant. It is the kind of brand name that is so universally-appealing, you can just hear anyone ordering it. Frat boys: "Bro, let's do another Effen shot!" Snobs: "Oh my God, I totally need an Effen cosmo right now!" Or even our favorite vodka connoisseur, James Bond: "I'll have an Effen martini - shaken, not stirred." I think we can all hear ourselves waking up the next morning: "Oh man, I had way too many Effen drinks last night."

Pure genius!