Review: California Gurls

I am okay with Katy Perry, but I don't consider myself a fan. She strikes me as a 50's pinup incarnation of Pink - the rare breed that is the female rocker/indie songbird trying to exist in an electropop world. I loved "I Kissed a Girl" and hold it in high esteem, particularly for ushering in the Second Sexual Revolution, or the "kiss a girl" phenomenon, which brought drunken girl-on-girl make outs to the mainstream. Bless you, Katy Perry. Ironically, the song was also nominated for Favorite Song at the 2009 Kid's Choice Awards. But every revolution has its own special ironies.

Since her 2008 breakout single, however, I have not felt a similar partiality to anything else Perry has produced. Her sound, generally, is only so-so and when she speaks, it is not to me. Sadly, she is one of those artists that I appreciate more for her "assets" then for her audio. I was even mildly offended by "Ur so Gay". It suspiciously summed-up too many elements of my existence - with extreme prejudice. She could have (too) easily been singing to me.

And then came "California Gurls", the first single off Perry's upcoming album Teenage Dream. I should not have been surprised that I would love this song when I found out who had produced it - Max Martin, the legendary Swedish producer responsible for defining the sound of an entire generation of pop artists, from the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC, Britney Spears and Ace of Base, to Pink and Kelley Clarkson. For Perry's track, Martin has crafted a four-chord signature riff that is obnoxiously-catchy. Coupled with an Armin Van Buuren-style lead-in with an envelope filter and a classic Europop 1-2 beat, this song has you hooked in the first eight seconds.

Martin's production has a bit of everything, old and new: hot synth hook, electronic beat, rhythm guitar, slap bass, but it stays a minimalist composition. You are never overwhelmed by a "wall of sound" production style, but rather he layers the various melodic variants seamlessly at opportune times.

The song is definitely catchy. After all, who among us does not like California girls? They're the hottest girls on the planet, at least that is what GQ and Maxim have taught me to believe.

Then there's the video, which premiered yesterday on MTV and VH1 and was widely-released today...


Well, hm...

It is like she deliberately side-stepped Playboy to do this video, but shouldn't have because it is entirely likely the Playboy shoot would have been better designed. This video looks like what a porno directed by Willy Wonka would look like, hardly something I'd ever want to appear on my screen in a pop-up window. The pornographic element is fitting considering Snoop Dogg makes a cameo appearance which, however, is pimpish and boring.

Don't get me wrong, Katy Perry is sexy. And when her sex tape drops, I'll be sure to accidentally Google it. But this is a music video, not a Vivid video. Naked Katy Perry lying on a cotton candy cloud batting her legs and eyes is fine in my dreams, but the song is called "California Gurls"! Where the hell are we? Where is the beach, and palm trees, and CALIFORNIA GIRLS? All I see are sexy Oompa Loompas and aerosol whipped cream-shooting lingerie. It is like that "something in the water" acid-tripped California into a Nutty Chocolatier. It's just...weird, Katy.

It is not that the video is too sexy - it's just too much Katy Perry "being" sexy. Lots of pouting, and smiling, and seducing the camera, and sexy sugar. Not enough context, or substance, or anything other than this sexy sugary Katy thing. Remember the video for "I Kissed a Girl"? If you watched it on mute, you would have no idea what the hell the song is about. And let's be honest, the title is pretty self-explanatory. This video is absolutely no different.

So I suppose Katy Perry is good at making singles, but clearly not so good at making videos. Perhaps that is why I remain an admirer, an occasional listener, but so far, no where near a fan.